....On the Road Again!.... Or so I thought?

Part one (written 9/24): YIKES! Last night was quite the adventure indeed! I started my occasional babysitting job in Chester, NH. There are 4 kids. Jodi is 13, Colin is 10, Ethan is 7, and Keira is 4. Most of the time they keep themselves occupied, which I guess can be a good thing. Their parents are really laid back, but it makes me sad because all the kids want to do for long periods of time is watch movies or play video games. Next time I am going to see if I can get them outside playing :) I played a lot of board games with Colin, and Ethan though which was nice. Right before bed me & the three youngest ones watched Lilo & Stitch, and ate some healthy popcorn. When the kids were finally settled down in bed is when I realized how exhausted I actually was! So on my way home I was running out of gas even though I thought I had enough to make it home go figure, and me being as broke as I am didn't have any cash on me, just the check that I had recieved from babysitting that evening. So I booked it to Concord which is a little closer then Pittsfield and ended up running out of gas right outside a friends driveway which I consequently spent the night in in my car :) That was an adventure all on its own. (Sarah you rock!). So this morning I woke up to Sarah knocking on my car window hehe. I called my Dad and he came and put gas in my car so that I could go to the bank, cash the check, and fill up the tank. On a brighter note I found out this afternoon that I got the full time nanny job that I have been waiting this week to hear about. This means I can fix my car's noisy muffler, get insurance on my car, and start saving for Sarah's and my apartment which will hopefully be located and lived in before Christmas!

Thrown a Curveball
Part Two: So God has a "fun" way of throwing in lessons when you least expect it. Now to figure out exactly what that lesson is! Here is whats up in the life of Renee at the moment! :) My first day of work went really well. I enjoyed getting to know baby Connor, and he was doing great getting used to me watching him! Elly (his Mom) is super nice too, and we actually have a lot in common. Day #2 of work started out quite nicely. I got up at 6:30, brushed my teeth, shoved whatever breakfast I could down my throat, and headed out the door. Well little did I know that right as I was going to leave town my car would decide to give up its life and die right there at that traffic light near the little car wash on the end of town. It just shuddered, and died. Because I have power brakes those also died, and I was on a slight hill. So I was pretty much scared to death as I started rolling backwards. Thankfully there were no other cars behind me so I was able to back it into the car wash parking lot. I then proceded to start my car again, I made it to the edge of the parking lot and as soon as I stopped to check for cars it died again. I knew it wasn't just one faulty accident and that there were more serious problems that I am not capable of dealing with haha. My tracphone also ran out of minutes so I couldn't call home, and even if I did I would not find anybody there as they had already all left for the day. So what does a girl do? She walks home. It took me a good while but I finally made it. Red messenger bag/laptop and all. Of course there are some pretty steep hills on the way home, but nothing I didn't handle just fine :)



I made it home finally and called my Mom, she was able to get it towed to our family's mechanic. However, he is not able to look at it until this weekend. Then I needed to call Elly. She didn't answer so I shot her a quick email in the hopes that she would get it before 9 (when I needed to be there) (It was not about 8:30). I didn't hear from her until about 9:20. She asked how the car situation was and I told her that it wasn't good. My car couldn't be looked at soon, and all the other places I tried were booked up for a month. So then she said that if I couldn't come in that day she was going to have to find somebody else to watch the baby (for good). I understood though because she does need somebody to watch Connor. Its not her fault my car died, but its not my fault either. She wasn't angry or anything, I just felt super bad and she did too because she does like me watching her son. She emailed me around 10 and asked how the hunting for a car to use was going. Not good at all. So I told her her best bet would probably be to find somebody else. At this point I am super angry and frustrated, I had done all I could do to find the car and the job this summer and as soon as I get both they are on the line to be taken away. So I pretty much just got in my PJ's and sat and wallowed and slept for 3 hours. I'd pretty much given up on the situation. Eva gave me a call around 1. She said that she leaves about 20 minutes earlier then I have to for work, but she could pick me up, and then she gets out of work right when I would be driving back to Concord from work. So it works out perfect right? Well, I called Elly and she didn't answer so I emailed her. She emails me back shortly later and says she had emailed somebody else and would feel bad if she said no to them twice (It was somebody she had said no to so that she could choose me to watch her son). So she was going to wait to here from that lady, and if she didn't then I most certainly could have the job because I was her first choice! So I hear from her a little while later. She hadn't heard back yet and wanted me to come in today and then she'd figure it out from there. So I left with Eva this morning, and drove the CRX to work. At work Elly informed me that she really didn't want to lose me as a sitter, but she still feels bad about the other woman & the saying no twice situation. She also said she wished she would have waited another hour to hear from me because then she wouldn't have to make that decision. At this point Elly says even if the other woman wants to work for her then she wants me to work for a couple of weeks. I'm thinking she wants the other woman to say no with her having to feel guilty by saying no. So I will have at least 2 more weeks of work, and who knows what will happen after that. I'm sure there will be more details soon.



Regardless today was a GREAT day with Connor. His smile was pretty much endless, and he slept a lot. My arms are going to be JACKED by the time this is over. He's only 2 months but holding him for a long time gets tiring! Especially when he is asleep.



So what am I to learn from this? I'm still trying to figure it out. However, I know that it happens and all day I've been trying to figure out what God is trying to teach me. Then I got to thinking about it. Does God really need to have a lesson for me in order for this stuff to happen? I don't think so. I may learn something from it, and I know I need to absolutely rely on Him to get me through what I am going through with this situation. But does that mean he MEANT for me to learn from it? Not necissarily. I'm beginning to realize that God doesn't need to always have an agenda for the things he does :) Often it is just my flesh thinking that he has an agenda. Who knows maybe it is something I need to learn.


In other exciting news today upon my arrival home from work I found a letter waiting from one of the cutest little 9 year olds ever! I got a letter from one of my little campers from camp this past summer. This is what she said:


"Dear Renee,


I hope to see you next year. I miss you and I told you I will send you a letter. I wish you can visit. I am in the 4th grade. I still remember everyone. Plese write back. I am going to be 10 next year. I still remember my name it is Monkey. Goodbye!!!
Love Gabby
Monkey is the nickname she was given at camp by me and my co-counselor Shannon because she would want a piggy back ride all the time, and never ceased to want to cuddle. I am going to have to write her back soon.



This evening I made a double batch of chocolate chip cookies for the fam. They came out great! I'll have to get a photo of them tomorrow as I am to tired to do so right now. The agenda for tomorrow is work, and sleep. Friday will be working and sleeping. Then enjoying a nice weekend off!



Did I mention Season 7 of House, and The Office started? Yes they did! So pumped :)

The Fox, The Crow, & The Cookie

I deleted this blog for awhile. Not because I didn't want to use it. I just wasn't. Lately I have been wondering why. Why not blog? The more I thought about it the more I realized that I should. Most of you guys know that I end up writing "Mega Novels" in my emails or letters. I think this is mostly because I am not good at shortening what I have to say, or figuring out how to say things effectively in a short manner. My conclusion is this. I like to think I am a pretty open, and honest person about myself. At this point I think I am going to bring my blog back, send you guys the link, and just enjoy writing. If it gets read great, and if not then at least I know I didn't bombard you all with a ton of emails! :D I also deleted all my old posts, I need a fresh start. And so it begins.

Where am I now? Well, reminiscing over something Kira wrote in a paper for school that I had helped her with. This is the end of the essay.

"As things slowed down at about four in the morning, everyone fell asleep around me. I realized that the night would soon be over, but in a sense the posse too. It had flown by so fast, I could have blinked and I would have missed it. It was hard to believe then, four of us squeezed together in the little car; we were so close, inseparable, right? What was going to happen to each of us? Because inevitably we are all going to grow-up and things will change. All the stuff that we have done together, just being the stupid teenagers that we are, would we even remember any of this night or even all the endless time together? I know that we are all going to move on and continue our lives, but even as it is happening I want to grab it and slow it down. I wondered as the others slept if they even realize that this little piece of heaven that we have made for each other is not going to last..."

"...After all this great adventure, I have decided that what ever happens to us will happen. It is weird though how when I am around them things are timeless, you get so lost in whatever we are doing, that unless you take a step back you will forget that it will not always be like this. That night was one of the times that I realized that, I would miss these kids when they finally grow-up."

I try to read that at least once a year. I keep a copy of that Soulfest essay in my hopechest. Where are we now? Where am I now? YIKES! Not where I ever thought I would be that is for sure. Kira is in Arizona which means I am 2,733 miles from one of my closest, and most dear friends, my sanity really. Derek is getting ready to leave for the air force, and Jon is working, creating videos, and working on musical things. I am sitting here writing this. Ready to leave for work, and thinking about what the next few months are going to bring. Turning 21, moving out of my house in with my dear friend Sarah, working, being content living life as a single person. How did it get to this? How did we go from 16 year olds loving life, and loving each other, to adults loving life, loving each other, yet never getting to see each other? Being adult? Being responsible for anything and everything? It seems like a huge responsibility, and it is. However, I still think I am on the boarder of who I was, who I am, and who I am becoming. I am content where I am at. Not complaining in the least. Excited for what God is doing? Most definitely! I didn't realize then that the friendships I had, and have now would take so much balance, and work to keep up. I am definitely up for that challenge now, yet I have only begun to figure out how it works.

Listening to the new Anberlin CD: Dark is the way, Light is the place. It is pretty good thus far, but I still like the old school stuff better right now. It'll grow on me. Check it out if you get the chance though.

Have I mentioned I miss Houghton? YUPPERS! I do. A lot. I had a wonderful skype date with Bethany (my roommate) last night. It was good to catch up! Now just to skype every other person on campus and I think I should be all set for a week or so. My next planned visit is October 22nd-24th so I'm pumped!